The day began with a feeling of hope. But it took five days to get here…

On the morning of Wednesday October 28, Luis sent me the video of the song. It blew my mind! I could not speak, there were no words. I was overjoyed with pride as I cried and watched it over and over, as if it were changing each time that I viewed it. It was a visual interpretation of MY thoughts! I asked myself, “Who in this whole world was luckier than me”? I was beyond grateful and humbled as I watched Luis and Heather share this amazing work on Facebook. I knew that I had to share it as well, of course… I’m a grown woman, a mother of four and a grandmother now. I know that I am a strong person, but I began to feel the fear and anxiety creeping into the pit of my stomach. I knew what was coming, I knew what “they” would think and say. I would be judged, tried, then found guilty on all counts. Many of “them” are sadly my family: a white middle class, Portuguese/Italian that married Irish Catholic angry mob. (And there are three police officers in the mix!) I would have to accept my fate and “own it”.

12:00 PM – “I will post in a little while.. let me have lunch”
2:00 PM – “I’m a little busy.. I’ll wait a bit more”
4:00 PM – “I don’t know what to write… ugh.. Let me go out to the store..”
5:00 PM – “I have to cook dinner?” …No. That was it. I was scared shit!!
5:44 PM – No More Excuses… I POSTED!

Monday (Today November 2)
I have survived the blowout, the backlash, the retribution. It wasn’t the flame, fire and fury that I expected. It was a sizzle… It was a dud, like a bad firework on the Fourth of July. It had been raining for the past three days, but it stopped this morning. Light shined through my window at 8:00 and for the first time, in a very long time, I jumped out of bed like something wonderful was going to happen! I know that change is coming. “If I focus on my gifts that I have to share with the world, only good things will manifest!” The light that was shining through the window was an awakening of my higher creative self. I quickly grabbed my phone and texted Luis. I had so much to tell him; I think I might have confused him a bit! I wanted him to know that I knew I was not alone, and I will continue to be brave, for HE held me up and told me: “don’t worry Lynn. I have your back”! Yes, he did, and I will be grateful today for my friends, my music, for all those that I love, my beautiful country and ALL of its people! In years to come, I’d like to be seen as one who stood on the right side of history.

God, PLEASE help us get through this. God Bless America.

Lynn Portas.

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